Archive | Cool Stuff

20 September 2005 ~ 0 Comments

Raining Cats & Dogs & Geriatric Hookers!

About 8 years ago I used to be a cab driver. During this time I wrote a autobiography about the insane cab rides. The book (unfinished still after 8 years) is called “The True Triple XXX Cabbie Confessions of Rude Rudy Mayhem”.
So, I thought I’d share a story with you. If you couldn’t tell from the title, this one might not appeal to you churchy folk…….

Raining Cats & Dogs & Geriatric Hookers

I veered to the right as I keenly saw an elderly woman in the pouring rain out of the corner of my eye. She was frantically waving her arms signaling me to pull over. Approaching the curb I simultaneously lowered the power windows and asked where she needed to go. “Across the bridge, can you get me there for three dollars? That is all I have,” she mumbled. I was already headed in her direction and was ok with pocketing a few extra bucks, so I unlocked the door and let her enter.

The unpleasant aroma released from this granny was immediately invading my cozy warm cab and I was thankful she was only crossing the bridge, or at least I was under the impression she only wanted to cross to the other side. The stench had built up from days without bathing and years of drinking cheap domestic beer. Quickly I re-lowered the power windows for a fresh breath of life saving air.

She started rapping some innocent gibberish and I assumed she was a harmless sweet drunk. That is until, somewhere within her rambling she blurted out “I give great head for five bucks.” A tidal wave of inner chuckles was beating down my cheeks begging to escape my lips into wild laughter. I couldn’t believe she had suggested this. She was probably sixty years old, missing multiple teeth and smelled worse than rotting fruit.

Not wanting to hurt her feelings, I told her I was involved with a very sweet girl whom I adored very much, and had I not been committed, I would have taken her up on the offer. Yeah right, the only chance this blue haired prune stood with me was if she knocked me out with chloroform.

She was so impressed with my kindness and devotion to my imaginary girlfriend that she would not stop complimenting me on how much of a pleasant character I was. Then the grandma claimed that I was the nicest young man she ever met in her thirty years of working the streets as a prostitute. Just imagine all the diseases and pregnancies that must plague a thirty-year veteran of the streets. Then once again, she busted out with “I deep throat great for eight dollars.”

Wow, from a regular blow job for five bucks to an eight-dollar deep throat, what the hell was she thinking? I would rather let a sharp toothed pit bull lick peanut butter off my dick before I’d touch this gnarly old grizzled hooker. I reassured her I was very much in love with my lady and it just wouldn’t be fair to her for me to take part in the BJ. It was nearly impossible to avoid busting up laughing in her face, so I decided the ride was more than over with.

While still holding my breath, I pulled over and suggested she find another customer somewhere else. It did occur to me for a second to let her keep her last three dollars, but that thought really only lasted for about three seconds. I taxed her for her last bits of change and wished her good luck as she hobbled away in the pouring down rain.

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16 September 2005 ~ 6 Comments

3 Unorthodox Ways I Created Income as a Lazy Surf Bum.

Throughout my adventurous life, I have been very lucky. Somehow the right teachers have
always magically appeared at the precise moment for me. This happens over and over again.
I’m sure it happens to you to, but some of you are asleep even when your awake. You may
have missed your Mr Miagi.

You see, right in front of your face there is a teacher, or some idea, or niche, or scheme
that has not been exploited just yet. Yes, right now, in front of you, there are numerous
ways to make money. Most people are just not driven enough to take that idea into the real
world and somehow find a way to turn that idea into a tangible dollar.

A few years ago, I lived in sunny Mission Beach San Diego. Living at the beach was such a
joy. I routinely dream of moving back to the calming sound of the ocean waves. There was
one bad thing about living at the beach in SD though. The Cost. However, having a
beachfront house for $1500 a month was a steal. When you have grown up in Oregon your
entire life, and never paid more than $800 a month for rent, $1500 can be quite a burden on
many. Luckily this treasure of a home was shared with a couple whom paid half the rent. So
$750 a month was small beans for this spot….

My biggest problem though was I enjoyed drinking beer, surfing, and hmm, drinking more beer.
This was not very condusive had I wanted to work for the local grocery store, or taxi

I’ve never seen anything as powerful as the beach. What I’m trying to say is, why
would I want to drag myself away from this heaven to bag groceries, or waste my day in a
automobile? I didn’t even drive while I lived in San Diego. Skateboard and Bicycle was all
I needed. I had no desire to have a car. Everything I ever needed was within a mile or two
of me.

So, if I was such a lazy surf bum, how did I support myself? Any way I could. Well any way
that didn’t require me to do too much. I believe in working smart, not hard. And that’s
just what I did.

For example, here are 3 money making techniques I employed while chilling on the beach in
San Diego.

1. Magic Tricks.

Who doesn’t like magic? I was in Vegas and I saw this guy floating a drivers license in the
air. I was blown away. There was no string, no magnets, yet this guy was floating this
license in mid air. I had to learn this trick. It was nagging at me so hard. The way I figured it was like
this. The trick would cost me $40 to learn. I had just won $1000 on a free raffle (a whole
story in itself) at Casino Royale, so I could afford the 40 bones.

I bought that trick and learned it as fast as I could. Within hours I was trying to impress people on the streets of Vegas. Quickly, I realized I needed some practice. So practice is what I did.

Within one week, I not only had my $40 back, but multiplied by at least 10 times. Also, I learned
some new tricks that made money as well. Learning magic tricks was one of the smartest things I’ve ever done in my life. I can walk through any town with not a cent in my pocket, and leave that town at the end of the day with a pocket full of money if I want.

More importantly, magic puts smiles on people’s faces. I prefer to make friends first, then
the money comes afterwards. When I do magic for fun, it’s much nicer then doing it out of
necessity for food. However, if hungry, I’ll go into “CashSuck” mode and milk it for every

Magic has made me tons of friends, and has scored me some awesome jobs as well. Imagine
going to a job interview, and the whole time you just play around and wow the boss. That’s
what I do. It’s obvious I can perform the job, so I move the topic of discussion to
something more enjoyable like magic. Obviously this won’t work if your applying to be a
cardiologist or dental assistant.

Never underestimate the power of magic.

2. Alley Trash

Mission Beach San Diego is full of college students moving to and fro, from one apartment to
the next quite frequently. Very often when these kids move, they will leave various items
in the alley for the trashman to pick up. I’m talking about stuff like coffee tables, end
tables, couches, etc. Stuff a college kid could care less about, and this stuff is really
not worth much of anything anyways. Or is it?

Remember when I said there are tons of ways to make money right in front of your eyes? You
do? Great. While on the periphary these items seemed like alley trash to most. Maybe you
could sell the item for $5-$10 if you were lucky. But I’m not lucky. I’m smart. I don’t
sit around and rely on luck to pay my rent.

I picked up those worthless tables and had a great idea. I had just picked up about 60
boxes of sports cards (baseball, football, basketball) from a thrift store for $20. Some
guy pulled up with a truck load of cards, and the thrift store clerk was very annoyed with
the massive amount of new inventory just donated. I was very aware of the problem this
possessed for the clerk. He would have to stock all these cards, and I could tell he was a lazy
dude. How can I tell? 300 lbs gives me a lot of clues, let’s just say that.

So I asked the clerk, how much for all the cards right now? He said $20 and I handed him
that bill faster then he could down a KFC chicken wing. When I got home, my lady was pissed about all the cards. She thought I was collecting junk, and in a way she was right. However, when I mixed 2 pieces of junk, I created treasure.

The tables that were acquired in the alley were not visually enticing. In fact some were a
bit ratty, while others were just standard wood coffee tables. No big deal. However, I thought, why not take that table and slap some San Diego Padres baseball cards on it, and then put a Epoxy Table Top Resin over the top and create a “Custom Made” Authentic San Diego Padres Baseball Card Table?

This idea was huge. I made a Nascar table, a Yankees TV Tray that I advertised as the “Best
Damn Table To Put Your Beer on While Watching the Yankees (I hate the Yankees) spank the Red

People loved the tables. Nobody had ever seen anything like this before. So now I
have some alley trash tables that have been transformed into custom memorabilia tables that
sold for $100 or more. Not a bad idea when you need to pay your rent. Had I more time, I
would still be making these tables.

When you think about it, sports fans are a great targeted audience to market to. They spend
money on their favorite teams without a doubt. Just go to any large mall in the US and I guarantee there is at least 2 or 3 sports oriented stores selling your favorite teams
merchandise. Big time money is spent on jersey’s, shoes, hats, etc. etc. etc. But how many
people are selling authentic memorbilia tables that you can drink beer off of?

The real beauty is you can create this stuff for each sport, and each city. Your not
limited to just each city and sport though. You can go back and make tables for each year.
For instance, you can do a “Classis 1972 Chicago Cubs” table, or 1999 Pittsburgh Steelers.
You can get really targeted with these type of things, and the fans absolutely love it.

So there you go. I just told you how I turned alley trash into treasure. Let’s see how
many of you sports pirates loot that idea. Go for it, I imagine you could make some good
bucks on Ebay with it.

3. Parking Spaces

If you’ve ever driven to Pacific Beach, or Mission Beach on the weekend then you are
probably more then aware of the parking nightmares that exist. Well, I turned this dilema
into a bonus. This is probably one of my favorite “Come Ups” that I have ever pulled. I like it so much
because all it required was a pen and a piece of cardboard. Ok, it took a bit of talking to
neighbors to, but this was a simple sale.

On friday night, I would move my roomates car out of our driveway and park it on the street
where the public parks. I would also have the neighbors move their cars onto the street as well. Now this does 2 things. It frees up my driveway, and it takes up more space on the street leaving less spaces for outsiders to park.

When noon rolls around, I walked out to the main strip and held up a sign that read “Parking
$20 All Day”. I would clear out about 5 driveways spaces and those would be full in a
matter of minutes. Typically some guy would drive by in a Suburban full of kids anticipating riding their
boogey boards. When the driver first sees my $20 sign, he laughs. But after circling the
block 4 or 5 times with screaming kids and finding no spaces, $20 seems like a deal to him. So, on the 6th time around he decides he’ll fork out the $20. But oh no, he just missed out. while he was
looping around the block someone else took the spot.

It usually only took 4-5 minutes max to get a customer for each parking spot. So, with a
bit of creative thinking, a scrap piece of cardboard, and a black Sharpie, I was able to
make $100 in less than a half hour. Of course that $100 was used to purchase a Keg of Beer
to accompany myself and the bro’s on the beach. Now that’s working smart.

So you see, all 3 of these ideas were able to be implemented within just blocks of my house.
There was no need for me to ride a bus all the way across town to go to some job I hated. I
could make money on my porch. I have to admit, lot’s of rich, snobby, home owners did not
like me. They thought I was a punk, and probably resented the fact that I had such a great
life, while they hated theirs.

It’s amazing how a guy can make $500,000 a year and have a miserable life. Well such is life. Maybe if these idiots weren’t working for companies like Lockheed Martin and making products that kill people they might smile once in a while.

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14 September 2005 ~ 0 Comments

My First day with WiFi and Beer.

So Im sitting here with Brooke (Bartender) in the Irish Pub in Ashland while typing on my new Compaq Tablet Laptop. I’m pouching a wifi connection from some coffee shop next door. Damn this is cool. I just got done playing some poker while drinking beer, checked a few emails, and then showed off some of my websites to patrons in the bar. Did I mention this computer is cool?

I’m on a PI gig in Ashland Oregon, and this is one pretty place. It sure beats it’s neighbor “Methford”, oops, I mean Medford.

So today while killing time in the spy van, I was able to read through the famous Gary Halbert’s Boron Letters again. Damn, that dude blows me away. I got so much love for that guy. It’s amazing how words can literally change people’s lives. However, it is essential to take action. You can’t just read something inspiring and think that Ed McMahon is gonna come a knocking. You gotta put in work……..and Gary’s words are heavy enough to inspire me to put in more overtime.

Did I mention how awesome it is being able to type to you while in the Irish Pub? I’ve just found a new office. Suprisingly, I’m quite productive in this madhouse. Well, I’m off to explore the other bars in the town of Ashland.

Attention BAr Owners: If you own a bar, get wifi, or get the coffee shop next door to get it. If you do, I might be drinking at your bar soon.

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11 September 2005 ~ 0 Comments

Robert Randolph and The Family Band

Hello friends,

I personally think that music is one of the greatest gifts in the entire world. I love all types, country, bluegrass, rock n roll, hip hop, etc. I also love to share phenomenal music with you too.

If you are a music fan yourself, your in for an amazing treat. Make sure you check this out, becuase it is hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Yep, that’s Buster Poindexter times 2.

So, my featured artist to share with you is Robert Randolph” and the Family Band. Don’t miss guy folks. This is Rocken.

You can peep their website at

Check out the “Playlist” towards the bottom of the screen after you click “Music”. These guys wail.

Also you can see a few videos on Yahoo Music as well. I recommend the video “I Need More Love”. Click here to see the videos. (viewable in Internet Explorer only).

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06 September 2005 ~ 0 Comments

Oh No, I Have To Go To the Real Job.

Yo Pilgrams,

I have to attend to some Magnum PI biz for a couple of days, so I left you with a joke to listen to.

It’s just a quick 50 second joke.

Listen to the PODCAST JOKE here.

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04 September 2005 ~ 0 Comments

Unbelievably Cheap Flights, Airtech

If you want to travel via airplane in the next few months, I suggest you pay attention to what I’m about to reveal here.

You see a few years ago, I was stuck in Hawaii with only about $120 to my name. I desperately needed to get back to Portland Oregon, but with $120 this seemed a bit of a long shot. However, I luckily scored a one way flight to San Francisco from Maui for only $99. This was a few years ago, so inflation has increased the rates slightly, but not by much. When I arrived in Frisco, I made a few phone calls, and it just so happens that a few of my buddies were skateboarding about 5 miles away from the airport and were on their way back to Portland in the morning. I must be Irish or something with this kind of luck.

Anyways just check this site out. You will be impressed without a doubt.

Just check out these amazingly cheap flights.

# Europe $219 one way
# Mexico and Caribbean $250 round trip
# Hawaii $139 one way
# Europe to US East Coast $219 one way*
# West Coast to Europe $249 one way
# Europe to Southeast USA $239 one way*
# Europe to Midwest USA $239 one way*
# Europe to West Coast USA $249 one way*
# Inter-Europe $99 one way

Now try and beat that. Once agan the site is
I usually don’t say much about these kind of secret gems, but I’ve gone soft. I can’t help wanting to save others money. So there you go, check out if you want some cheap flights to some amazing destinations.

This is a stand by service, but I have gotten on with no problems, and if you follow the rules, so will you. Good Luck.

Jason Moffatt

PS. I have no affiliation with this company and don’t make any type of commision for referring you. I am just doing it because this site rocks and is worthy of a mention to my loyal readers.

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01 September 2005 ~ 2 Comments

Katrina Disaster, How Can You Help?

Hello folks,

These last couple of days have been a huge eye opener to many of us here in the states, and across the world while watching the destruction of hurricane Katrina.

We are witnessing so many people left completely homeless, with no food, water, money, and some can’t even find their loved ones. Sadly, relief will not make it to many people for days, and possibly even longer. Inevitably some will never get relief. How do you comfort someone who just lost everything they ever knew?

So within the next few weeks you will see many organizations raising money to help, but which should you contribute to. Be careful, because there are many scammers looking to profit off of others misfortunes.

However, I know a guy with an amazing plan. Greg Rozsa who lives in Tallahasse Florida is renting a Uhaul truck with his own money, and is pitching in $1000 to pay for the Uhaul and stock it with food. Greg is hoping to stock the Uhaul full of food and water to drive as close as he can get to New Orleans.

The goal is $10,000 of food and water.

What makes Gregs charitable contribution so great is that there are not going to be any administrative fees, or any under the table misappropriation of funds. Greg is simply going to fill his Uhaul rental with food and water, and hit the road to meet up with Jeff Little, whom has the ability to cook for large numbers of people.

This is such a great way to have a positive impact that you can be confident will go directly to those in need. I strongly urge you to visit Greg’s page and make a donation.

Every penny helps folks. We can reach his goal of $10,000 in no time I think if everyone just spares a bit. So please folks, can you spare $10, or maybe even $100 for Greg to load his rig full of food?

Please visit

Thank you…so many would be appreciative.

Jason Moffatt

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30 August 2005 ~ 3 Comments

Internet Marketers FREE Poker Tournament.

It’s WSOP (World Series of Poker) time, and all the poker junkies can’t wait to watch Phil Ivey and others go All In in the biggest poker tournament of all time.

These poker broadcastings have created a ton a buzz in the last 2 years, and it’s seems everyone wants in. Well, I just had a great idea.

Let’s have a “Interenet Marketers Poker Tournament” online. Don’t worry, we aren’t going to play for cash. We are going to play for bragging rights only. It should only take about 2-3 hours and will be a blast. So if anyone want’s to play, send me a email to (pokersecrets @ yahoo), or respond to the post here.

Even if you are not that good, it doesn’t matter. Everyone has a chance to win this baby. Maybe I’ll pony up some cool prizes too, I’m sure I could muster that up somehow. All you have to do, is let me know you want to play, and I’ll set the game up at one of the online poker rooms, and mail you the password and time that we will play. This will probably take place in the next 2 or 3 weeks, depending upon the response.

Hey folks, I have a great treat for you. It’s a FREE $10 to play with right now. Yes, 100% FREE, no gimmicks, no tricks, just $10 Free dollars to get your feet wet playing poker at Royal Vegas. It’s completely secure, safe, and fun…..Click Here to get your FREE $10 to play with. It usually takes up to 24 for the money to be credited into your account. I turned my $10 into a few hundred dollars, and you could do the same.

So folks, just let me know if you want to play. We will be playing “No Limit Texas Hold Em”, and I’ll update you on the time and place. So get in touch if you wanna play, and you’ll have the chance to sport the Internet Marketers Poker Trophy……..

pokersecrets @ yahoo if you wanna play….


PS. I won’t use any of my Master Tracking Tools or Calculators either. hahahhaha

PPS. Check out my Poker Course if you want to have the upper hand on the match.

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29 August 2005 ~ 0 Comments

Hurricane Katrina Looking Fierce. Please Say a Prayer for those in her path.

Hey folks, nothing funny today. Sorry…..

More important than laughs right now are many peoples lives in Lousiana, Alabama, and Florida. Please keep your fingers crossed, and say a prayer for our friends in the Southwest as it looks like they are going to need all the help they can get.

The storm is only hours away and reports of 165 mph winds is not encouraging.

Never underestimate the power of “Positive Affirmations”…..


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26 August 2005 ~ 12 Comments

If They Mated, Frank Kern and Alice Seba

Hey friends,

Let’s get something straight. My photoshop skills suck……Do you think that stops me from making crappy photoshops though? Hell no…….

I have dozens of these dumb pics, but as I keep making these sophmoric images, I keep learning new tools in photoshop to use.

So how many of you have seen Late Night with Conan O’Brien when they do the skit “If They Mated”? If you have never seen the skit, check it out here Conan and the producers take 2 celebrities, and through the futuristic abilities of this amazing software, they are able to predict what their offspring would look like if they happened to mate.

Well, I know Mr. Frank Kern is married, and I know Alice has herself a man too. However, should this stop us from seeing what type of kid they might produce if they got really wasted at some marketing seminar? I think not. So here we go…..

It’s the 1st edition of the “If Internet Marketers Mated”…….Keep in mind, I suck at photoshop….Watch out, or you might be next.

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