Yep, I said it. I Hate To Work.
Even though I’ve always had decent work ethic and have held down some sort of job since I was 12 years old, I’ve always loathed doing anything that is considered work. I’d just rather play all day and do things on my terms.
Of course this didn’t always fly in the real world and I was forced to buckle down and punch into the time clock in my younger days. But since my career is primarily internet based nowadays, I call the shots and decide my schedule. The problem is, I continually schedule fun days over work about 99% of the time.
It has been nearly impossible to get me to sit down and work for more than a few hours during the last two years. I’m not saying this to brag. In fact, it’s actually become a bit troublesome and a bit of a problem. I’m honestly at a loss on how to get motivated to work.
The day after Christmas I told myself I was going to abandon all social media and communication until I finished a particular project I was working on. I didn’t want to wait until New Years Day to start a big resolution. I wanted to begin right that second. And I did ok for a couple of days. I got quite a bit done, but stopped short of finishing right when I got to the 95% mark.
Why do I always do this? Why am I so good at starting things, but suck at closing? I know I shouldn’t even say these words as they are just reinforcing the idea that I can’t finish projects, but the reality of my life is feeling like the girl in the Van Hagar song “Come On Baby Finish What You Started“.
Anyhow, I know I’m not alone. This trait is very common among people, but it’s one I’d like to conquer. The amount of talent, opportunity and resources I’m squandering away is sickening at times. At other times, I’m like… “Screw it, I’d rather just surf all day, meditate and play with my dog”.
Money does not motivate me. I’ve come to learn that. If it did, I’d be releasing new products every other week. I’m not sure at all what motivates me. I don’t feel like a very motivated person. However, at times I’m totally cool with that because my biggest desire in life is to CHILL.
It seems people work their whole lives so they can one day retire and live the kick back life. Well, I already live the kick back life. Why would I want to disrupt that with working? Do you see my dilemma? No amount of money is going to change my lifestyle right now. I already do everything I want. So there seems little motivation for me to work.
When I get around the ocean I get so blissed out that everything takes a back seat. I have about 450 unanswered emails, Facebook messages, texts, etc etc etc. I’m really sorry if I haven’t gotten back to you. Or am I? I really don’t know. At times I just ignore it and don’t want to let those outside things disrupt my selfish inner flow. Other times it makes me feel guilty that I owe something or a response to the people (to some I really do).
I’m not even sure why I’m telling y’all this. Maybe to just give you a better understanding of how and why I do the things I do. Maybe so I can just understand myself a bit more. And maybe, just maybe if I air out my difficulties in finishing projects a answer will appear in front of my eyes when I’m ready.
Last week I was seriously considering the idea of just giving up everything I’ve built on the internet and marinating on the beach like a monk. It was overwhelming me, causing me unwanted stress and basically cock-blocking my fun. I’m well aware I may sound like a spoiled little brat who doesn’t want to embrace the real world to some people, but I really have no desire to live in what most people consider the real world.
Let me tell you something…
Some people will tell you that mediation is a healthy practice that will help in many aspects of your life. I’m here to tell you it can also make you seem bat shit crazy to other people and make you not give a flying fuck about the outside world. Going inwards can be a very interesting trip and it’s quite possible you may never want to come back. The serenity and calm inside can be so luxurious it makes little sense to return to the daily hustle & bustle of the work force.
So, the only way I see me working is to turn it into a whole bunch of fun. Otherwise it’s just not going to get done. I need to seriously reframe my thinking about my projects and get elated about the opportunity I have to share these things with others.
And I’m reaching out to you to help me in any way you can. Whether it’s just a nice word or encouragement, or a strategy or tactic to get my ass in gear I’m all ears. I really do want to be more productive and share what I have sitting on this computer.
I’m not kidding when I say I have about 12 different products just sitting here ready to be shared, but they are in need of a sales page, or a video, or graphics or something that I’ve been delaying because I’d just rather play.
So, the question I’m asking myself and you is… “How do I turn this work into play?” It’s the only way I see it getting done.
Any feedback would be grand.
PS: If I haven’t responded to a message of yours over the last month, please don’t take it personally. If your message is something that really needs a response, or if I’ve said I would do something for you and forgot, please gently remind me and I’ll do my best to get it taken care of.