Coming Clean About Staying Clean

By Jason Moffatt | Health

Jul 20

When I originally hired my fiance Andrea 6 months ago to help me cleanse my body of toxins and transition onto a mainly plant based diet, I knew I was in for the ride of my life. While I had experimented off and on with a vegan and many other diets for over 16 years, none of them were actually very healthy. Just because potato chips don’t have meat or dairy in them doesn’t mean they’re actually good for you.

Beyond just the dietary changes it was crucial for me to once again attempt living my life clean and sober of all drugs and alcohol. For 20 years I’d been a fairly constant user of some sort of mind altering substance. Usually those substances consisted of herb and alcohol.

Despite being entrenched into a life of substance abuse, and being genetically at a disadvantage for addiction, I somehow have always been blessed to know where to draw the line. Yes I’ve partied like a rock star, done way more than my fair share of recreational drugs and have at times been a bit reckless. However, I always knew when to stop. I wish others had the same ability.

Every few years I’d force myself to do a 30 day sober stint just to prove that I could easily do it. When I put my mind to it, it was never a problem, but I’d always revert back to what I knew after the month.

Well, it’s 6 months into this new journey and I thought I’d blog about how I’m doing. I’m a bit hesitant to share some of the following, but I’d rather be upfront and honest rather than internalizing everything and misleading many of you.

The reason I’m a bit apprehensive of writing this blog is because during the last six months I’ve received so many emails from subscribers and fans telling me heart wrenching stories about their struggles. At the same time, I’ve received an equal amount of letters from people sharing wildly successful tales about how their lives have turned around and if it had not of been for them witnessing my transformations, they may of stayed on their same destructive path and may even be six feet underground right now.

I have to admit, I don’t really like the pressure of having people look up to me on this issue, and I’m not exactly comfortable being any type of role model when it comes to sobriety, health or well being. However, since I did blog about my journeys I sort of put myself in this position so I’ll grab onto the reigns and continue to steer this ship.

I made it about 4 full months of complete sobriety. I’m not exactly sure how many days it was, and to be honest I don’t care. The idea of reiterating every day…. “it’s been 67 days since my last drink” is not motivating to me in any way. In fact, I hate even brining it up. I know people in 12 step programs deal with things on a day by day basis and their last date of use has a big importance for them, but for me, I’d rather just forget and go surfing or do something worthwhile.

I also can’t stand the idea of sitting in a recovery group with a bunch of people talking about being sober. I’d rather just join a softball team and play ball. I know it works for some, and god bless them for it, but any type of rehab is not for me.

Why?

Because I honestly know I don’t have a problem. Personally, I have a bigger problem with imposing rules and limitations on my life and making myself feel like I’ve done something wrong if I want to have a simple beer after a long days work.

Yesterday I had 2 great surf sessions, then burned the shit out of the bottom of my feet, toasted the clutch in my car and was a bit irritated. I mumbled a few obscenities and parked the car, walked into a old cowboy saloon and tossed back a Sierra Nevada while watching the movie True Grit. After that one beer, I left. I didn’t feel like drinking more. I also didn’t feel bad for having the beer. I did want to stay and watch the rest of the movie though.

Was it the most healthy thing I could of done? No. But neither was the oatmeal cookie I ate the other day while sailing with all my buddies on the bay. But guess what? I didn’t have a drop of booze that day and there was an entire open bar for the 6 hour trip. Clearly I don’t have a issue with drinking.

The biggest problem I was running into during the sobriety stretch was the guilty feelings I was having about wanting to consume at times. It had nothing to do with me and everything to do with letting other people down. One thing I’ve learned over the years is… You have to live your life for you. If you’re not happy, you’re going to be of little good to those around you.

Another thing I learned is that I really dig being healthy. I love waking up and not feeling hung over. Being alert, aware and ready to tackle to world is a tremendous feeling. And I’m so grateful for adapting my lifestyle to mostly raw fruits and veggies.

I say mostly because at times I may want to eat a bit of wild salmon or some raw goat cheese. And if I feel like it, you better believe I’m going to do it. Heck, if I want to eat an In & Out Burger, I’m going to do it. Thankfully that urge is pretty much gone.

What I’ve found is this…

When I give myself the freedom to do something, I actually don’t feel so tempted to do it. It’s usually when I label something as “Taboo” or “Forbidden” that I start to have non-stop thoughts about it. And those thoughts combined with the guilt drive me fucking insane.

Therefore, I’d rather just live my life like Cartman from South Park and just “Do What I Want”. I’ve found that when I don’t restrict myself, I end up wanting much better options for myself. And when I derail myself a bit, I pay attention to the aftermath and focus on whether or not that really served me and make corrections along the way.

I can honestly say when my back is hurting me like crazy, taking a couple of puffs off the vaporizer does wonders. When I’m wicked stressed out, herb is a great tool.

The reason I didn’t want to post this is because I know many people can’t live their lives this way, and they’ll go overboard with trying to justify their usage. I’m not trying to justify anything. I’m simply doing what I want. What I want overall is combination of better health, more love, and less stress.

I can still see myself going weeks, months, and possibly even years without a single drink or puff. Who knows, maybe an entire lifetime. But the bigger picture for me is not even caring about it, and just doing whatever feels right today. And today what feels right is a big green vegetable juice and some sunshine. Time to get off this computer and get outside.

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About the Author

Jason Moffatt is a former private detective turned internet marketer who uses his skills of keen observation and deductive reasoning to pinpoint the easiest paths to success online. He’s passionate about helping entrepreneurs in the health & wellness field along with those in the personal development space. Jason believes we’re all a work in progress and that each day presents an opportunity to be a little be better than the last.

Facebook comments:

  • Matt Greener says:

    Thanks for another awesome post Jason.

    I understand your fear of people justifying their behavior and I think that a large part of the danger of “doing whatever you want” (which I totally agree with by the way) can be your surroundings, role models and top influences. If you surround yourself with people that are encouraging you to do better, then “what you want” becomes better things.

  • Colin Kramer says:

    Jason,

    You are a lucky man, indeed.

    Not only have you found a woman who presumably is supportive of your desire to do whatever you want, but you have the financial means to pay for it.

    On the issue of having the means to pay for it… do you ever feel tempted to lie and steal from your customers to finance the drugs you use, and the lifestyle you enjoy?

    The news media has tended to portrayed drug users as being very impulsive, selfish, egotistical, and as being a danger to themselves and others. You don’t seem like that kind of person based on your blog posts and e-mails. But if that “other side” to your personality exists, how do you keep it from causing you to do “whatever it takes” to get the money you need to score your next “high” and live the good life without having to work a normal job like most of the rest of us?

    Thanks,
    Colin

    • Hey Colin, first of all my woman is supportive of me being as healthy as possible. She is not into any types of drugs or alcohol in any way, and doesn’t encourage or even like me doing them. However, she also doesn’t want to be my mom, so I’m very thankful for that.

      Secondly, ABSOLUTELY NO! In no way would I lie or cheat my customers to support such a thing. In fact, the amount I ever spend is peanuts in comparison to everyday other expenses. We’re talking literally less than $100 a month, and even that is pushing it.

  • Jason, cool post. Funny thing, I do the EXACT same thing. Heck, as you know I’m in the raw food business. When I first got into it I put so much pressure on myself to “be raw”. It make me MISERABLE. I felt exactly like you. It actually took me over a year to just do what I do, how I want to do it, and live my life. That’s actually kind of hard to do when you’re somewhat of a perfectionist.

    Me and the wifey have come to the conculsion that we simply do our best to eat high raw. We don’t put percentages on it, don’t care, don’t get into drama or arguments, and certainly don’t care what anyone else does. Lord knows the raw food community is pretty hard on each other and pretty judgemental at times.

    But if we want burgers, we eat em’. If we want sushi, it’s on. We don’t care at all anymore and we are both SO much happier and just cruising through life. But I really feel you on the stress of trying to be perfect on the diet, the BS labels, etc.

    I promise you’re about to be a way happier dude for sure. Congrats on the no BS approach and living your life without all the wierd self imposed boundries, it sucks for sure. Great job!

  • mark says:

    Good to see you’ve stayed on course Moe. Don’t let little things like car issues or slight injuries piss you off or derail your efforts.

    To me it’s more being able to control negative thoughts and taking the wrong kind of action. In some respects having the odd beer won’t hurt you unless
    you can’t control your thinking or the actions you take in your life.

    I’m not an herb user. I think using the “Wild Wood Weed” makes you want to do nothing. Yeah, I use to smoke pot a long time ago and been a big chemical user. That passed me by more than 20 years ago. I’ll be 50 in january and health and helping others is important.

    I don’t think you care about being some messiah out to help the world like the Dali Lama. I think you like helping others succeed in biz,be in better health through optimum nutrition and find love and kindness in your life.

    It was a very profound and illuminating post Moe. I look forward to more of your value created posts.

    Mark

  • Bruce says:

    Hi Jason,

    Good honest post. I believe the saying, “All things in moderation.”

    Life without an ice cold beer… I just don’t want to go there. The truth is, 12-step programs have massive failure rates, exceeding 90%. If you can control it, especially when you have shit to get done, rock on.

    I’ve never been one for weed, but I like my beer and bourbon. In my experience, weed is a massive demotivator. But to each his own.

    In any event, thanks for your honest posts. I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors.

    Bruce

  • Kurt says:

    Haha you are by no means a role model for being sober and unlike your ass kissing followers all read was justification and denial. Broh! Or what ever you people call each other..

    • @ Kurt – It’s not my intention to be a role model for being sober. However, it is my intention to be forthcoming and honest about who I am and strive my best to grow each and every day. In the process of doing this, some people may choose to better themselves as well and when that happens it makes me smile.

  • Dylan Jones says:

    I like this post a lot, and I agree 100% about the freedom instead of a dogmatic way of dealing with issues.

    I remember I used to drink a lot of Monster energy drinks before work, and it became where I couldn’t work (“as effectively”) without it.

    While trying to stop drinking it, I found that if I really craved it, I would go to the store and get some, and since I went through that effort, I drank it, hah, as the reward.

    But what really made me stop was buying one and putting it in my fridge.

    I knew if I ever reallllly wanted to drink a Monster, I could. Always there, any time I wanted it.

    I never drank it, cause I had the freedom to choose right in that instant instead of it building up.

    I am doing the same thing while getting in shape in Thailand. I have a bag of chips and chocolate
    bar in my room just incase I ever want it, its there, but again, since I can make a choice in
    that moment of a craving, I can resolve it, that moment.

    Good stuff, man!

    – Dylan

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