If you’ve been in the internet marketing field for any length of time then you’ve inevitably had to deal with the problem of a family member or friend asking you… “What exactly is it that you do?” 
The question always comes up, and no matter what answer we seem to give it never seems to satisfy the inquiry.
If you say you’re a Copywriter their mind thinks of that little circled c logo that stands for copyright on the bottom of the page. If you say Email Marketer they think you’re a Viagra or porn spammer and if you dare say you’re a Search Engine Optimist they’ll just stare at you and wonder what foreign language you just spoke.
In my experience it’s almost better to just say you’re a drug dealer or tell them you sell digital crack because at least they’ll have some understanding of that.
To be serious for a second, this issue is one that comes up all the time. Because the internet marketing industry is so new and because so many people can’t seem to grasp the idea of creating massive wealth so quickly on the internet it boggles their mind that these opportunities are even true or legit. The old saying “If it’s too good to be true…” really has crippled some people’s minds and has created some sad limitations on what is possible, especially on the internet.
Starting a online business can be rough on families and relationships because the fear of the unknown is quite a daunting feeling. So many spouses get upset at their significant other because of continual purchases of products and seminars promising that this will finally be the tool that will help elevate them to financial success. Of course it’s usually just an entry way to being sold more shit that will sit on the shelf and it further pisses off and worries the partner. And rightfully so in many cases.
I’ve found there is really only one way to alleviate these feelings of insecurity and worry and that is to…
SHOW THEM THE MONEY!
If you aren’t bringing in the money from your internet ventures, don’t expect others to keep encouraging you for long. It’s just not going to happen.
And here’s some really shitty news…
When you do start bringing in money don’t expect others to encourage you either. Here’s the sad, sad, sad reality about success…. It sometimes makes other people feel diminished about themselves and they often have a hard time truly being happy for you. Of course this isn’t a blanket statement that applies to everyone, but it’s way more prevalent then you’d ever imagine.
I have life long friends that no longer hang out because they feel I’m some type of elitist asshole who now runs with the Joneses, or that somehow I now think I’m better than them because I have a pocket full of cash. For some stupid reason my success triggers some emotional reaction about their lack of hustle and achievement in the world and makes them feel like shit about themselves.
I can’t imagine ever having anything but joy and encouragement for anyone that is doing good for themselves, but don’t expect that from everyone because it just isn’t going to happen.
And here’s something that utterly boggles my mind as well. Even if you do start showing your loved ones the money and are bringing in fat paychecks, don’t assume that is going to finally make them feel secure and safe about your internet business. Nope.
People are conditioned to work 9 to 5 jobs, punch into time clocks, follow bosses orders, commute to and from work, work all year for 2 weeks paid vacation, stare at the clock waiting for their break and hate their jobs. It’s doesn’t seem real to them that you can work 2 to 3 hours a day and make 5 times the income they make after spending 6 years going to college to prepare for their apparent dream job.
If you had a job as a Fireman, a Postal Worker, a Lawyer, Chiropractor etc, they’d feel safe. Internet Marketer? Not so safe. It doesn’t even matter if you make 5 times the income as the previous mentioned careers. It doesn’t matter that you now have more time to hang out and spend with the family. And it doesn’t matter that you have more opportunity and connections then you’ve ever had in your entire life. It’s all still too foreign for many people to grasp.
My point is, don’t expect others to understand your internet business, your success or your peer group. If you do set these expectations, you may find that you are setting yourself up for a big disappointment.
Best of luck everyone.
Jason
PS: I’m so thankful that I’ve never experienced any pessimism or doubts from my immediate family about my online adventures. My parents have always been very supportive of almost everything in my life and especially my internet business. However, I know this is a issue that almost all of us deal with in one way or another at some point, so I figured I’d touch on it.
Hey Jason, sounds like you just got off the phone with family member that sparked this post? Ha.
Dude I have to agree with you for sure. People don’t want you to succeed. Weird I know, but they will say that they want you to succeed but in reality they do not. I believe that is because it is an insecurity that they have and it makes them feel better when they see you fail.
Also I think that society has alot to blame for this mindset. It happens from an early age where we’re taught to go to school, listen to the teacher, follow the rules. And then graduate get a job and listen to the boss and follow the rules….while going through life safely and arriving at their grave having not taken any chances.
Being an entrepreneur is one of those things that the majority of people can’t relate too because it is very risky and uncertain and most people are afraid of that.
Actually my family has always been really supportive of all my decisions in life, and especially the internet ventures. I’ve had this post in the cue for a long time, just finally decided to publish it.
Perfectly written Jason.
I continue to face the same scorn from family and friends.
It’s especially the “close” family who get that snarl in their whole face and then nearly scream, “Just go get a “REAL” job, you lazy bum!”
Sad, they are so indoctrinated to a broken system that has choked all life and reason out of them…
Great article, Jason. The reality is that there’s a huge leap between Employee and Entrepreneur. It’s a completely different mindset. It’s not that they don’t want you to succeed as Rich suggests, it’s that they have no reference for it. It’s like speaking a foreign language… they don’t understand, so they feel stupid.
They already feel powerless because they think they’re stuck in the 9-5 world and in the same way Arizona is afraid of Mexican infiltration, most people are afraid of our crazy customs and witchcraft ways.
Have compassion for them and don’t try to “convert” them. And certainly don’t take it personally when they get defensive (or offensive, either). Slowly but surely, our way will seep into the mainstream culture and then everyone can be rich, happy, and fulfilled in life.
Rock on!
David
I agree David, the real problem is that they have no reference for it and sounds like a foreign language to them when you talk about it. Totally agree with that! Well said!
To transform to this, one needs to go through philosophical changes – as the late great Jim Rohn said, you gotta change your philosophy. Most people are happy in their secure job safety zone mindset, so this is going to take some really different out-of-the-box actions to play in this arena.
Yea I just say ‘I run an internet company’. And if pushed I actually play it down and exaggerate the work involved because as you say, a lot of people don’t want to hear that you’ve pathed an easier path for yourself.
Smart to play it down in some cases.
Word.
Told my dad I made an extra $x,xxx last month from my SEO business. Instead of an attaboy I got a lecture about work at home scams.
He had no clue.
Haha. Figures.
Thanks Jason for helping to ‘wake up’ our friends and relatives that don’t believe we can make any kind of money online. Thanks again!
After all of that, I put in the wrong domain name – oh well, so it goes!
I’m going back to bed! I can’t believe I’ve messed this up AGAIN!
Hey Jason,
This is sooooo important! I think that mindset is critical to success no matter what you do. Frank is always talking about releasing a mindset product for marketers but every time he does a survey, It’s not what marketers want to buy. Online marketers don’t get that you need to know how to think when the naysayers (AKA lemmings) come at you! They are dream killers because they are unable to dream because they have been programmed with the follower mindset. Sorry to be so critical but it is true…
To all of the online marketers reading this, be sure to surround yourself with like-minded people. It will shield you from all of the negativity that emanates from unenlightened people. If you don’t know how to find them, there are tons of Facebook groups to choose from. I hope that helps someone.
Later…
Dude. Awesome friggin post. They will never understand!
I feel like you just wrote this post for me Jason.
My bro is having his first Kid tonight!
And my fiancé and I broke up from me not having a real job.
(though things are going better now then ever)
Anywho… Thanks Jason
I’ll try to make a point to come over to your blog every day now to see what you wrote.
Jeff
HaHa I love this post. Nobody ever speaks about this stuff….
Just say “I have an internet business”. Mention anything more and your just digging a hole for yourself…
For example:
Random Person: “So you make a living on the Internet, really? how?.. what you selling?”
Me: Aamm I sell Stuff ….. Lots of stuff…. You know like…. software.. websites.. info… I could go on!
Most People react like Bobby Bushays Mother from Adam Sandler’s Movie The Waterboy
“The Internets the Devil”
What about the awkward moment when that girl you just meet at the local niteclub asks what you do for a living! (Damn …that should be a Facebook Fan Page if it isn’t already)
I am still trying to come up with how to say what we all do after “split-testing” a ton of responses. It’s easier when you’re hanging out with business owner types because they generally understand that the internet can be a means of customer acquisition, but it can be more difficult when speaking with the masses who may have more of a consumer-based mindstate in many cases. I think I’ve finally landed on “I’m a website developer.” Even though that’s only a fraction of what IM entails, it generally is enough to satisfy them with out causing eyebrows to be raised (usually) haha
This post is perfectly timed for me personally. I’m just getting into internet marketing and like you said have purchased a bunch of educational products and tools but have yet to make a dime. My wife although understanding on the surface is very concerned and skeptical about the likelihood of my success.
It can be so frustrating because I can see if I just put in the time and work hard at it I know I can make it work, but I always have this constant pressure to “show her the money” RIGHT NOW!
Anyway, thanks so much for your thoughts. It’s at least nice to know that I’m not alone in this.
Doing something out of the norm always makes others feel uncomfortable. Our brains just like to create neat little boxes so we can put everyone and everything in one which keeps things nice and neat- no extra thinking required.
But if we let what others think dictate our lives, we’d never go for our dreams. And isn’t going for our dreams what life is truly about?
Thank you for this great post Jason! I know this situation where you try to explain it to somebody, but he just don’t get it. I agree with you. It is a very good idea to set this expectation that it is normal that somebody just won’t understand it.
What if you said you were in Marketing or Online Sales? It might be simple enough for others to understand
I like ‘digital crack’ . I haven’t reached ‘elitist asshole’ yet, but I’m working on it.
Yep, it’s way too lonely sometimes….. I get a never ending barrage of info about my husbands plans for his offline “real” business and when I mention something digital, the next sentence goes straight back to his business conversation ……