RV Tales #1 – Good Thing I’m Insured

By Jason Moffatt | Travel

Nov 20


So I’ve driven the RV a total of about 60 minutes so far. Both times while trying to park I’ve created a bit of damage.

Nothing major, but it sure is a hit to the ego and confidence.

First issue… I was trying to back into a super tight space between two other rigs. It was too small for me to comfortably make it. While exiting the spot, I nudge against the top of a camper.

No damage to the camper, and just a minor paint blemish on my rig.

2nd fiasco…

I decided to park the RV out in Vista for a few weeks. Paid a guy $250 off Craigslist (I said I was in deep with cops in the ad so it would scare away tweekers) and drove it out to his place.

The first mistake was pulling over on the side of the road with a bunch of trees overhead. The branches beat against the roof and I’m sure had a hayday with the Satellite receiver.


Then, as I was pulling into his driveway there was very little room to wiggle between the cyclone fence. Add that to the fact it was a steep incline and things got really tough.

While going up the drive way, the backend went so low that the trailer hitch was digging into the cement of the road. In fact, I ripped out a 2 foot by 4 inch gash in the middle of the asphalt.

While the hitch was digging up concrete, the back wheels were spinning and burning rubber.


Finally, I backed it out, drove up the road, made a crazy back up move and turned the beast around.

Once again I tried going up the drive way. This time with success. At this point I was unaware what I had done to the street.

The air was ripe with the smell of burnt rubber.

Double shit!

Then, I realized I couldn’t get this damn beeping sound to go off while the rig was running. If it was in drive, or reverse, the beeping kept going. Only putting it in neutral would stop it.

Triple shit!

It was after this I realized I had excavated the country road with my trailer hitch and in the process I ruined the portion that you connect the electrical to when towing.

Gonna need to bring out a RV Expert too teach me how to run everything.

And oh yeah, the radio stopped working.

Quadruple shit!

And oh yeah, sometimes the generator will start. Other times it won’t.

I don’t even know how to say 5 shit!

O, what a long strange trip it’s been. And it hasn’t even started!


About the Author

Jason Moffatt is a former private detective turned internet marketer who uses his skills of keen observation and deductive reasoning to pinpoint the easiest paths to success online. He’s passionate about helping entrepreneurs in the health & wellness field along with those in the personal development space. Jason believes we’re all a work in progress and that each day presents an opportunity to be a little be better than the last.

Facebook comments:

  • Mike Stenger says:

    Just saw ur tweet man. Surely didn’t sound good…

    Everything’s a learning experience. I’m sure once you get some more time in, you’ll be a pro at this RV game! Glad you didn’t do really bad damage, was expecting to hear you hit a car or something!

  • haha I wish I could have been in the passenger’s seat when you did some of this stuff. Happy travels when you get going!

  • frank says:

    oh shit… I would have paid to see that

  • Marshall says:

    Jason that story is hilarious! As I was reading it I vividly saw Clark Griswald in my mind off National Lampoons Vacation. Only he was driving a station wagon.

    You’re going to have such a kick ass adventure!


  • It’s Quintuple Shit!
    Wow- that thing sounds rough! Your expert idea sounds like a mighty good one… or hiring a driver. Be careful with that toy dude. I’m sure all this is growing pains, and then the fun begins πŸ™‚

  • Dennis says:

    Hey my friend, don’t sweat it, in a couple weeks of driving , it will be old school! 😎 a month for sure( remember the 1st time you drove a car or bike or surfed?

    B cool Dude!


  • Adam Shields says:

    lol if you ever decide to drive cross country, looks like by colorado you’ll be a sedan, by iowa a bike, and by new york a beat up old unicycle with your coffeepot and luggage roped to your back….lol i can see it now…. I can pick you up half way if you get stuck :0)

  • Dude, we have an RV parking spot in front of our house. You could have just asked…LOL

    Always fun to read about your escapades. πŸ™‚


  • Vance Sova says:

    Hi Jason,

    Your story sounds pretty nightmarish but at least you came out unscathed and didn’t injure anybody.

    An RV is like a bus and bus drivers need special training.

    For some reason I had a few nightmares (only while sleeping) about having to drive a bus with people in it. It was a horror.

    That could have stemmed from my horrifying experience when I could barely drive a small car and started to work at a TV repair shop and had to drive a huge van at night to pick up broken TV’s at peoples homes in poorly lit residential areas.

    I don’t know how I survived that.

    After you master the driving of the beast,

    will you be driving your RV to Canada?

  • Jason, You need a road warrior to tame the beast and I don’t think you are going to find one on craigslist. Happy trails and on the road again. B Bop

  • Liz says:

    You are so lucky to be going on this adventure!
    When we traveled RV style about 6 years ago to
    Oregon, Washington, Canada, Idaho & Montana,
    it was the greatest trip ever! Fishing in the Snake River, baby rattlesnakes playing with my little boy, too close to giant elk, ripping out campsite posts (accidently) with the RV. We rounded a corner & the fridge door wasn’t latched and all this shit came spilling out onto the floor & we had to pull over on the hwy to clean for 2 hours…what a blast! It really was the greatest vacation of my life.

    Can’t wait to hear all about your trip Jason. Make sure you keep a journal!

    xox,~ Liz

  • Ray Paquette says:

    Hi Jason,
    I couldn’t help laughing a lot at your RV experience although I know none of the events were funny to you. It reminded me of my early adventures when I bought a 37 foot sailboat and I had never sailed or owned or(most Importantly)handled a large boat before. For several months I was terrified as well as most people on or near the boat each time I left or arrived at the dock.

    One time that is still crystal clear in my mind although it happened more than twenty years ago is when I was docking after a day of sailing and the bowsprit caught the side of the electrical power box and knocked it over on the dock.

    Fortunately it did not topple into the water and create some lightning type affects. Also it was nearly dark and no one else saw me(that I know of).I worked into the night to repair with fiberglass,repaint the electrical unit and screw it back to the dock.

    That was the last time that I was embarrassed by my boat handling because I was determined to master the manuvering skills and the next time I took the boat out I spent hours going through exercises where I calculated and practiced motions of the boat with current and wind at different angles and different boat speeds.

    Maybe you can find a huge open parking area and set up some obstacles and get a couple of hours hands on training with a professional truck driver and you will be able to park that rig with your eyes closed.

    Best of luck.

  • Hey Mofo,
    It’s not a Porche, you have to learn to drive slow and easy like the old men RVers do. On my 7 month RV adventure, I took off half the bumper in a quick lube place…scraped the rear on low driveways many times and totally screwed up the generator with my “expert” mechanical skills. The worst of RVing is having to dump the shit every day or so. Enjoy!

  • Jerry Jonas says:

    Wow speaking of national lampoons that story is about as cousin eddy as it gets, I was crying laughing so hard.

  • gareth says:

    Geeze JAson man – what you need is a sausage RV that bends in the middle

  • Dirk Blanke says:

    Sounds like you’re having an adventure already without leaving town.
    Your post was great, had me laughing the whole time reading it. I totally can envision your story, because I’ve worked on many RV’s electronically with new installations and for repairs that kinda leave ya scratchin your head, how the hell did they do this? But, all you could do is laugh (discretely of coarse), order the new parts and send them on their way.
    I wish you the best on your repairs and to be safe on your journey across the states.
    Just stop feelin your way around when parkin, because you ain’t gonna feel a thing, but everyone else will πŸ™‚ Just Kiddin.
    Hopefully one day we can meet, ever get in a bind electronically give me a jingle.
    Take care.

    Dirk LINY

  • ummm.. that would be… quintuple shit.!!!!!

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